Through my journey of becoming a qualified and accredited Transformational Life Coach, I have been trained to develop my listening skills.
Research shows that the average person has had 12 years of formal training in how to write, yet they only use this form of communication for 9% of all their communication needs.
In contrast, we use listening skills for 45% of our total communication, yet the average person has had very little, if any, formal training in listening skills.
We all spend a great deal of time listening to what people are saying.
At least, that is the impression we give.
Most of the time the words we hear trigger a reaction in our minds.
This means we often switch off to what the person is really saying and we are following our own train of thoughts.
We might listen to the words but we don't really hear what the person is actually trying to say.
The Strategy:
In your next conversation put this conditions in place:
- Acceptance: respect the other person's feelings, experiences and values;
- Genuineness: show the person that you accept them and their values by what you say and what you do;
- Empathy: place yourself in the other person's shoes and demonstrate to the person that you truly hear and understand what they are saying and feeling;
The Action Step:
The skills to use to show you are listening to the person are simple:
- Listening with interest and attention;
- Listening without interrupting;
- Ask appropriate questions on what has being said;
- Listen not only to the person's words but also to their tone of voice and look at their body language;
Try and notice what you notice.
And that's all for this week.
Much love,
P
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